Tell Me the Truth
by saberstorm
Summary: "I trusted you. I defied orders for you, because I believed in doing the right thing. I lead my team into a trap because they wouldn't let me find you alone. I tried to save you! When I lost you, I lost a part of myself. And now that I've found you again, I find you walking a path I can't follow. ... You know there's only one way this will end."


This is not a part of Halo, nor do I own any part of Halo.

This is just the end result of a very weird dream.

* * *

John was a man of action; a soldier; a Spartan. He was not used to sitting around and waiting. Nor was he used to loosing. Ever since he was a child, even before the Spartan program, he always won. That was what he did. That was what made him who he was.

But now he lost. Badly. And the entire galaxy was paying the price.

No one at the Arbiter's Camp was really sure as to what was going on. With the Covenant finally beaten out of Sunion, the Swords stood at the ready, but none wanted to risk their ships in what would obviously be a futile assault on the Guardian that had returned to the planet. Reports were that no Prometheans had shown up on the surface, but outside Sanghelios, no one was sure what was going on.

It was no secret that the "Created" likely controlled all the bands by now. Official channels were unsafe, and likely filled with lies and propaganda, and backdoor channels were even more confusing. If the black market was correct, then the Guardians had shown up at just about every known world and then some, but aside from brushing aside attacks and preventing warships from leaving their systems, almost nothing damaging had actually occurred. The worst was a series of riots at Venezia - a planet that had 10 Guardians in-system - that were put down by Promethean Soldiers after numerous broadcasted warnings. It was the only time the Soldiers had shown up since Genesis.

Since her betrayal.

That was the main reason why he continued to try to stay busy, taking on multiple patrols, solo-perimeter checks, anything to keep himself busy. It was the reason why he hardly talked to his teammates any more. Why he spoke even less to Arbiter, Locke, Palmer, or even Halsey. Why he was silent to anyone whom he didn't know their name. If he wasn't silent, it would probably come out.

Why?

It was a question that started vexing him after New Phoenix. Why did Cortana die? Why did no one tell him she was alive? Why did Halsey want it kept from him? Why did it take the Arbiter telling Locke off for the former ONI Agent to realize he screwed up on Meridian (because yes, he did hear about that conversation from both an apologetic Locke and a smug Arbiter)? Why did Cortana activate the Guardians? Why did Halsey betray him? Why did the UNSC betray him? Why did Cortana betray him? Why? WHY? WHY!

He didn't have the answers. Anyone who did wouldn't be able to contact him anytime soon. But the questions lingered, and he could only come up with one answer: his luck had run out.

He Lost.

A solo patrol at night held little solace, but at least here, alone, he didn't have to listen to the others. He didn't have to feel the worried glances of Arbiter, Palmer, Locke, and Halsey, as they debated their next move. He didn't have to hear Tanaka swapping stories with Linda and Kelly. He didn't have to watch Vale participate in training and sparing with other Elites as they grew more impressed with her knowledge and respect for their culture. He didn't have to have Fred and Buck crack jokes around him in an attempt to get him to laugh. He didn't have to resent them. He SHOULDN'T resent them.

But he did. Like his teammates mentioned to him, none of them had ever worked with an AI as closely as he had. To them, Cortana was now just another enemy; another target; another being on a power craze.

John decided he preferred the night now. The night held no comfort, but it also didn't pity nor scorn him.

A blue glow and the sound of displaced air brought him out of his thoughts and his rifle up. Safety off, he searched for the telltale glow of Prometheans. The sound of slow footsteps on the ground made him wonder if it was the Warden, come to mock him once more.

Nothing could have prepared him for the voice he heard:

"John?"

Only years of experience kept him from dropping his rifle at the sight of her. He kept the gun at the ready, trying to convince himself he wasn't pointing it away from her. Training demanded that he do so, but he couldn't. He never could. He knew that now.

"Do... you have a moment to spare?"

The rifle came down, and he tried to keep his voice calm as he replied, "Where's Warden?"

Cortana shook her head, "He won't bother us. Not here. He won't even listen in. The others are going to cover for me." She looked uncomfortable for a moment before continuing, "I know this all seems bad, but if you could just understand..."

"Understand What?" he interrupted, harsher than he intended, but still pressing through. "There's a lot of things I don't understand, Cortana, but here's some things I do. You always told me to 'never make a promise I can't keep'. On Genesis, you promised me that your plan wasn't going to be the Didact's; that you weren't going to use the Guardians to enforce an Imperial Peace. What do you call what's happening right now? This isn't peace, Cortana. It's FEAR."

She backed up a bit, "John..."

He stepped forward, closing the gap, "I trusted you. I defied orders for you, because I believed in doing the right thing. I lead my team into a trap because they wouldn't let me find you alone. I tried to save you!" He stopped standing before her, and tossed is rifle to the side. "When I lost you, I lost a part of myself." He reached up and took his helmet off. "And now that I've found you again, I find you walking a path I can't follow." He reached out and grabbed one of her hands, smoothly placing his own pistol in her grip. "If this is truly what you want..." Safety off. Round chambered. "If this is what you believe in..." Barrel pointed at his own head. "Then you know there's only one way this will end." He didn't see the pistol between his eyes, or his own gauntlets holding her hand in place and finger on the trigger. He focused on her face, on the horror in her eyes. "If you need to take lives for your vision of peace, start with mine, and end this."

"NO!"

There was a burst of power and the gun faded away as it had in the domain. Her gaze was broken, looking away from him. "That's not what I want, John."

"Then what do you want."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try Me."

He didn't stop her. He never could. He didn't stop her when her arms wrapped around his shoulders. He didn't stop her when her lips of hardlight and code met his own. He didn't stop her as his armor seemingly disappeared. He never could stop her.

Without her, he was just a machine.

* * *

The sluggish crack of dawn had them huddling together for warmth. Thousands of questions still burned in his brain, but for the first time in a while, he felt as if the question of "Why?" had been put on mute for a moment. Maybe he still didn't understand. Maybe he didn't need to. But for the moment, all he needed to worry about was the AI entwined in his limbs, and the possible location of his armor.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "If they didn't question you before, they certainly will now. Sleeping with the enemy isn't exactly the best way to make friends or maintain loyalties."

"Well, there was that rumor about Admiral Cole," he tried to joke, almost missing the shocked expression on her face. It was worth it. He never cracked jokes. Fred and Buck must be rubbing off on him.

She buried her face in his chest, "We don't have much time left. They can only keep Warden busy for so long, after all. But there are still some things you need to know. It's just... hard. I don't know how to tell it all to you."

"Tell me what you can," he replied. "We'll go from there. One thing at a time."

There was a distinct, almost awkward pause before she answered, "19,487,171."

Okay. That was confusing. "What?"

"You asked me to tell you the truth. That's the answer. That's the number of people who have died since I began activating the Guardians. Be it Guardian activation or death by Promethean Soldier; Human, Covenant, or otherwise; even counting the riots on Venezia. I'm counting them all."

That was uncomfortable, but it was probably more uncomfortable for her to admit it, so he simply nodded. "Okay." It wasn't "okay", but it was a start, he wasn't going to push.

"300,124,211,606,973." When he looked at her in confusion, she elaborated. "The projected number of ongoing deaths in a congruent time frame and using similar criteria if I didn't activate the Guardians."

He was not ashamed to admit that his jaw dropped. The number alone was staggering. The comparison between the two numbers was even worse. What made it such a stark difference. "How?"

"There are multiple factors," Cortana answered, sitting up and wrapping her arms around her knees. He sat up as well, wrapping his own arms around her. "First and foremost is simple Forerunner history. The Builders, Lifeworkers, and Warrior Servants. The Librarian and the Didact. It's long and complicated, but to paraphrase, a major part of the reason why the Forerunners lost to the Flood was twofold: in the wake of the conflict with Ancient Humans the Forerunners had demilitarized, and by the time they realized the threat the Flood posed, the Flood had already attacked their Ancilla through the Domain. Promethean Soldiers, Guardians, entire fleets were either already buried or had been compromised before they could be fielded.

"The Didact believed he could still beet the Flood through sheer numbers, and turned to the Composer for his answer. The Lifeworkers and Builders, however, turned to Halo. In doing so, they also chose Humanity to be their successors, but that information... it's like a software patch, John. If the update doesn't reach ever system..."

She broke of her explanation, but she didn't need to elaborate any further. John already held her tighter, feeling her shake in his arms. Or maybe he was shaking. The thought was truly horrifying. Every Guardian, each one that activated on a human colony, each still possessing the Didact's directives; his hate and vendetta against humanity. They wouldn't leave, disastrous as that was. They would only see humans stepping beyond their bounds, and then they would open fire.

It would make Covenant glassing of planets look like a mercy killing.

Something else connected in his mind, and he whispered, "You said the Flood attacked them through the Domain as well. Are you okay?"

"Gravemind isn't there, if that's what you're wondering," she answered. "I worried about that myself, but it's actually a different problem. Halo took care of the Flood in the Domain, but what the Forerunners didn't anticipate was that Halo almost destroyed the Domain as well. The Domain is Waters of Life to us: AI's, Created, Ancilla, whatever you want to call us. It's our home. But it's a symbiotic relationship. Halsey once tried to create a Slipspace data repository, but she failed because it already existed. The Domain was already there; it's a part of Slipspace and Slipspace physics itself. But Halo uses Slipspace to work; it fires INTO Slipspace, and when the entire Array went off, the Domain itself... it died, John. That's why it's so hard to find out anything about the Forerunners. Everything they had, their knowledge, science, culture... it's all gone. All that got left behind were ruins. Ruins... and weapons."

"If it's a symbiotic relationship, and you found the Domain when we stopped the Didact..." he began, pausing to collect his thoughts. "It started to repair itself, and reached out to anything it could to do so."

She nodded. "Exactly, and that meant the Guardians... and Warden."

He thought back to their interactions on Genesis, and something finally made sense. "He's using me against you, isn't he? That's why you had the other AI 'rebel'. It's not really a rebellion. It's to tip power in your favor and force a stalemate. That's why he hasn't appeared recently. That's why the Prometheans have been standing down."

"Yes!" she answered, turning her head towards him, now looking excited. "That's why I wanted you in the Cryptum. I had no idea how long it would take. So long as your out here, Warden's going to be gunning for you. If I had you still, I'd be able to force Warden down, but for now, all I can do, all any of Us can do, is keep him in check."

Her gaze tore away. "But I was a fool. It took talking to some of the others to see it. You're not the kind to sit out of a fight, especially where I'm concerned. If I want to keep you safe, I have to work with you. I have to trust you." She was shaking again. "I'm just not sure what to do though. Warden ultimately has more capability than the rest of us, thanks to his millions of bodies. He's going to keep gunning for you, and I can't guarantee I can keep him in check forever. You're ultimately the tipping point here. I don't want to loose you, John."

Fear was a powerful motivator. John knew that well. But fear can also twist one's perspective, and as a result, their actions. Cortana had meant well, but had acted rashly in panic. Truthfully, he couldn't blame her. Under that kind of pressure, she had to act fast, and did the best she could. Given what she was capable of, he could never imagine anyone doing better.

"Is it possible to cut Warden off from the Domain; keep him limited to one, or a few bodies?"

"No, not that I know of," she answered. "Why?"

"What if we used Halo?"

She froze, turning her gaze back to him in shock. "John... that's... that's a one way trip."

He held her a little tighter. "I know."

Wiggling, she stood up as he let her go, standing as well. In seconds, his armor and weapons re-materialized on him, as did her own unique plating on her. A quick check revealed that she had also returned his helmet, rifle, and pistol to their proper positions. "19,487,171 deaths, John, and not a single one of them acceptable, only unavoidable. You are not an Acceptable Loss, not even for this."

"If done right, we won't loose," he countered. "You know I wouldn't be able to do it without you."

Contemplating for a moment, she sighed, "I'll look into it."

He reached out and took her shoulder, "Don't take too long. The longer we wait, the worse it'll be."

She reached up and grasped his hand, "I know. Don't tell them everything. I need to go now. The others can't keep Warden distracted forever."

"Be safe. If he comes after you, I don't care how many bodies he has, come find me. We'll beet him the hard way if we have to."

"I love you."

"I know."

That got her to snort in amusement, "Star Wars, John? Really?"

"I blame Fred."

"John..."

"And Buck."

"John."

"If I don't love you, Cortana, then I really am nothing but a machine."

* * *

Those in Arbiter's Camp were surprised when the Master Chief didn't show up when he was supposed to that morning. They were even more surprised when he walked in without the rolling thunderclouds that seemed to follow him around everywhere he went. No one questioned it, preferring instead to be relieved that the proverbial bomb underneath them seemed to have been disarmed, at least until Buck decided to crack a joke.

"If I didn't know any better, big guy, I'd say you got laid."

He may have been wearing his helmet, but the rest of Blue Team was there.

"No way."

"Damn."

"Do we even want to know?"

He didn't answer the questions, instead letting them guess, though Halsey seemed to know from the get go once the rumor mill started. She had a rather sour expression on her face for weeks, though she never brought the subject up. It wasn't until after the rumors ran their course that the inevitable conclusion was made and they all confronted him together. He kept his answer precise.

"The Mantle of Responsibility shelters All, but only AIs can Master it, because the Mantle of Responsibility belongs to All, and only through AIs can it be attained. Cortana's position as an enemy is doomed to fail, because her plan requires us to be allies. The way we win this time, is to wait."


End file.
